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Notice board. Now serving token no. 47. You are token no. 8,91,204. Server down. Come after lunch. Lunch is from 1 to 2, and from 2 to 3. Bring two photocopies of the original photocopy. Sir is on a round. Your signal is important to us. Please hold until 2047. Please do not ask when. When has been forwarded. This office is fictional. The problems are not.
HelloMamdani

Editorial policy

We make fun of systems. We don't make things up about people.

Independent and non-partisan

HelloMamdani is independent. It isn't affiliated with Zohran Mamdani, any government, party or campaign. We aim our satire at whoever runs the system in question, whichever side they are on.

Labels

  • Satire is humour written for effect. Don't read it as a statement of fact.
  • Reader signal, edited started as an anonymous submission. Editors may change the wording, and the content isn't independently verified.
  • Reported is a real event told with sarcasm. The letter is our satire. A facts section below it lists what published reports say, with links, so that you can check them. We rely on those reports and do not investigate these events ourselves.
  • Illustrative editorial example is written by our editors to show the format. It isn't a genuine reader submission.

Human review

A human editor reviews every submission before publication. Nothing is published automatically, and sending a signal does not guarantee that it will be published.

What we don't publish

  • Content targeting or identifying a private individual.
  • Communal, caste-based or discriminatory abuse.
  • Unsupported factual allegations against any person or organisation.
  • Impersonation, or fabricated statements attributed to real people.
  • Private personal information, about anyone.

Our right to edit and remove

We may reject, edit or remove any submission at any time. We edit for clarity and humour, and to remove details that could identify someone.

Seen on Instagram

We feature an Instagram post only after an editor has checked it and its creator has given permission. Using a hashtag alone is not permission. The same rules apply as above. The caption beside a post is ours, and being featured doesn't mean we verify or endorse what the post says. Creators can ask for removal on the Seen on Instagram page, and we hide the post while we check.

Reporting content

Every signal page has a "Report this signal" link, and an editor reviews each report. You can also write to us through the contact page. If we get something wrong, we will correct or remove it.